WHAT MEDITATION IS (REALLY) LIKE

Late last year I started a morning practice that went like this: soft alarm, stretch, let the dog out, and breathe in the morning air. I would then take a tablespoon of coconut oil to pull; find a meditation to set an intention for the day; and sit with my back straight and root chakra grounded with my eyes closed, palms up, and so very connected and spiritual and in-flow. My meditation would end gently, I would open my eyes, stretch again, and start my day.

I was bright and ripe and soft and really, really, a meditation badass!
Early summer started a series of events that slowly, slowly made my practice less of a priority. Not because I was doing stuff that was more fun. Not because I just woke up one day and said I wasn’t going to practice.

I didn’t plan it.

Instead, this past Tuesday I looked around and realized I was drowning in a sea of self-pity and oh, by the way, I had not meditated in like a month! So today I changed that.

Let me give you a peek under the tent of my guru worthy enlightenment by sharing, moment by moment, my gloriously awesome meditation from this morning. You ready? You’ll want to take notes.

​I snoozed my loud “GET YOUR ASS OUT OF BED” alarm every nine minutes for an hour, rolled onto the floor begrudgingly, and lay on the hardwood in child’s pose until I had to let the dog out (but only because he wouldn’t stop whining and nudging me with his wet nose). I took a tablespoon of coconut oil to pull, selected a beautiful 20 minute Devi Prayer/Hymn, and I sat, back straight, eyes closed, palms up.

And. This. Happened:

Oh, this is pretty. Breathe in, breathe out. Centered Kundalini rising. Yeeeessss. This is good…Shit, it’s hot in here. Where in the hell am I going to find a girls XL black bathing suit bottom by Saturday? Oh, hey—focus, breathe in, breathe out. Oh, this is pretty…Yeah, this is good. I’ve missed this so much…Kundalini rising baby!! I have to pee. I really should have peed before I sat down. I’m sweating under my left boob.
What the hell kind of scratching sound is the dog making over there! (left eye peeks open) Damn it! Focus, breathe in, and breathe out…Okay, this is pretty….The bottom of my foot is cold and numb. Weird. Maybe I should go for a run later. I’m sad Friday Night Lights is over. Gossip Girl is stupid. I should be watching documentaries and film noir. What the hell is wrong with me? Good thing my trip to Denver got cancelled…FUuuucccCK!!!
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Over the Moon Mag